Forgiveness
by Senshi of Ruin
Summary: Sequel to 'The Truth'. James is still trying to come to terms with the painful truth about his parents. Judith wants to build bridges but forgiving isn't going to be easy...Please R & R!


Forgiveness  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
This is the sequel to 'The Truth'. If you haven't read the truth then you might want to read it to get a idea of the plot. This took about 5 attempts to get right and even now I'm not sure if it is good enough. It takes place a month after Judith gave James the letter. Well that's about it. Please review if you liked it, as I was not sure where exactly it was going when I wrote it! Oh yeah and this is dedicated to my best mate Jade. (see I told ya I would dedicate a fic to ya!)  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Pokemon and all its characters belong to Nintendo. I don't own them (coz if I did TR would be the stars and not them pesky twerps!). The only characters that are mine are Danielle and Dr Burkley.  
  
  
  
Dear James,  
  
It has been a month since I gave you the letter. Please contact me. I want to know if you're all right. I know you are not my son but I still love you like one. As I said before. I don't ask for forgiveness but I do want to see you face to face. You are all I have left. Please James I'm begging you. It's tearing me up inside not being able to see you. Even a letter or a phone call. Any thing but please don't shut me out James. Just call me at least.  
  
Love Judith  
  
James tore the letter in half and pushed it down behind his bed before getting in and pulling the white duvet over his head again. Outside he could hear the gentle tapping of the rain coming down. This gave him some comfort and its rhythmic and almost soothing sound had lulled him to sleep on many nights since his father's funeral. James doubted if the presence of the rain had not been there that he would have got to sleep at all. Judith's first letter was still gathering dust in the corner of his bedroom where he had thrown it the afternoon of the funeral. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? She didn't care about him. They weren't even related? Why couldn't she understand that this string of letters that followed the funeral were just making this nightmare he was living an awful reality. The shock still hadn't worn off. Judith and Thomas were not his parents? It explained a lot of things but James felt so lost. He didn't know who he was any more. Jesse and Meowth had tried to talk to him but they didn't understand. They thought he was upset because of his father's death. But little did they know that Thomas Morgan wasn't even his father. Jessebell had sent him news of the will. Thomas had left most of the fortune on his side to Judith but James had also been left a fair sum. James had sent word right back that he didn't want a penny from them. He didn't care if she knew or not. He just wanted Judith out of his life forever. He didn't know what frightened him most. The fact that he now had no living family or the fact that he had this sick feeling in his stomach that refused to go away. It was this feeling that prevented James from crying or even speaking about what Judith and Thomas had done. Jesse and Meowth were giving him the time they felt he needed to come to terms with his 'father's' death. Jesse told James he could have as much time as he wanted and that they would deal with what to tell Giovanni and any thing else that needed sorting out. Jesse had been so nice to him and James felt despair that he couldn't even be truthful with her. Judith had told him that his whole life was a lie. Those few happy memories he had of himself in that mansion. They counted for nothing now. James turned over and sat up. The rain had stopped for now. The safe house seemed silent without the sound of the water bouncing off of the windows. He got up and went over to the window. A rainbow was forming on the horizon. James pressed his forehead to the glass and took in a few deep breaths. Anger rising as he thought again of what they had done. He didn't realise that he still had the photo of Danielle Cooper clutched tightly in one hand. Looking down at it made James feel sicker than ever. The young woman staring back at him seemed so…he didn't know how to describe what he saw when he looked at the photo but he wondered if she ever had any idea of what Judith and Thomas were planning. James saw some thing else in the photo. Some thing he had never noticed before. Danielle had a red rose pinned to the front of her apron. Ever since James could remember he had loved roses. His grandfather had a massive rose garden at his estate. James used stay there for hours just going from plant to plant and touching the silky petals and taking in the sweet smell they gave off. He had always found it odd that he liked roses so much. His 'parents' had never shown an interest in them or any other flower for that matter. James closed his eyes for a few minutes recalling what Judith had said about Danielle in her letter. His mother had no one after her boyfriend, James' real father, died. No one to mourn for her. James felt ashamed that he had not thought of Danielle once since Judith's letter. All he had cared about was the fact that Judith and Thomas Morgan were not his parents. He had not spared a thought for the woman who had died to give him life now. Every second he was living was down to Danielle. James set the photo down and raced over to where he had dumped his Team Rocket uniform the day of the funeral. He put it on and ventured downstairs. James knew it was not wise to wear his uniform out in public but he didn't care. His uniform gave him the sense of belonging that he desperately needed at the moment. Meowth was sitting on the worn sofa watching the TV. "Jimmy?" the cat was surprised to see James up. "How are yous?"  
  
"Fine" James went over to the vase of roses on the table. They had their own small rose garden out in the back garden and James used to weekly pick the flowers to brighten up the drab safe house. Obviously either Jesse or Meowth had been doing this lately as the vase was full. James picked out a single red rose and then headed for the front door. "James where are you going?" Meowth asked. The amount of concern on his face startled James. Meowth had never been one for showing his true feelings about any thing. "To see my mother" he answered before leaving. This wasn't a lie in a sense he was. But what Meowth didn't know was that he was not heading for the Morgan Mansion but the Magenta Town cemetery.  
  
Jesse couldn't sleep. In fact she couldn't now recall the last time she had slept well. In truth she was worried sick about James. At first she had tried to tell herself that him shutting himself in his room every day was part of the grieving process. Every one had their own way of coping with the death of a loved one. Jesse, when her mother died, had not believed Giovanni when he had told her. She had accused him of lying. It took a long time for Jesse to come to terms with Miyamoto's death. She had never really got over it. Whenever it snowed she could just picture her mother trapped in the mountains. It was harder because Jesse had some of her fondest memories of her with her mother out in the snow. When the Morgan's butler had contacted James to give him the news James had cried openly. Jesse had held him all that time until he cried himself to sleep. Then there was the day of the funeral. Judith Morgan was contained as always. She stood with Jessebell and her parent's the whole time shedding not one tear for her husband. Meowth quietly told Jesse afterwards that upper class women thought it rude to cause a scene in public even at funerals. James himself had been all right until they had seen the mahogany coffin. He started sobbing softly and Jesse had to lead him away at the end. Then Judith had spoken with him briefly and handed him a envelope. Jesse assumed it was his father's will or some thing. She didn't feel right about asking James. It was none of her business. But it was that letter which upset James most. Judith Morgan said that they were welcome to come back to the mansion with the rest of the family but James wanted to go home. He then shut himself in his room with the letter. James hadn't come out since. Jesse doubted whether he'd of eaten if she hadn't have brought him food twice a day. He seemed so withdrawn and rarely spoke to her any more. But Jesse got the feeling there was some thing else. Surely this behaviour was not natural? James did not hide his feelings. He would tell her and Meowth most things that upset him. Of course family matters had been different. James never even mentioned Judith and Thomas until the twerps stumbled upon that old poster of him when he was a boy. In fact James had told her when they first met that he had amnesia to avoid all those awkward questions. Jesse had stayed in bed all morning trying to get some sleep. But all she could think about was that letter. And now she had made up her mind. She was going to read it. She knew that James, if he found out, would be furious with her but Jesse had to find out what was in it that made him react in such a way. Jesse got dressed and then made her way to James' bedroom. The door was wide open. "James?" she called out thinking he might still be asleep but the duvet was half on the floor and the room appeared deserted. Jesse saw the letter lying on the floor. She pocketed it not wanting to miss this opportunity to take it. Then she hurried downstairs.  
  
"Meowth?" she asked seeing the cat curled up on the sofa. "Where's James gone?"  
  
"He went out about half an hour ago" Meowth replied "He said he was going to see Judith"  
  
"Well that's some thing" Jesse said in relief. A few weeks ago James was refusing to go within a mile of the mansion. She sat down next to Meowth and took out the letter. It was crumpled and Jesse spent the next few minutes smoothing it out on the table in front of the sofa. "What ya doing Jess? Dats Jimmy's moms letter"  
  
"I know" Jesse said. "I have to find out what it says"  
  
"Jesse yous can't read dat! It's personal. How would yous like it if James read one of you're letters dat you're mother wrote"  
  
"Meowth how did he seem to you?"  
  
"Quiet and almost angry"  
  
"Angry? Meowth his father passed away. Why should he be angry?"  
  
Meowth shrugged "How should I know?"  
  
"Exactly. Now do you want to find out what is wrong or not?"  
  
"Yeah but…" Meowth looked down at the letter.  
  
Jesse sighed "I'll read it and tell you what it says then"  
  
"No its ok Jess. You're right. Dis is for his own good"  
  
I just hope James sees it like that Jesse thought as she began to read.  
  
Once in the cemetery James found the headstone he was looking for all too quickly. There was only one and it had both names carved into the white marble. James guessed that Thomas paid for it. They wouldn't allow their child to spend eternity with a cheap headstone. James could even imagine them picking out the stone and telling the stone mason what to write. He sank to his knees by the stone and gently placed the single red rose in amongst the white daisies that were growing there. The inscription was simple and yet it caused a lump to form in James' throat. 'Here lie the bodies of Danielle Cooper and her daughter Elizabeth. Rest in Peace.'  
  
"Mother" he whispered touching the grass heap in front of him willing that some divine being would let her know that he was here. James closed his eyes to regain himself before speaking again. He sat there for an hour or more going over his whole life from when he first learned to talk until he got to Team Rocket. There James hesitated. Would Danielle have approved of him joining Team Rocket? He knew that Judith and Thomas hadn't done. They called him a disgrace to the family. But James knew the answer to this already. Danielle would have wanted him to be happy. She would realise that he had done the best he could in his 17 years. James continued talking not caring that it seemed silly to talk to himself like this. He had been kept in the dark for so long. He knew he was also the only visitor Danielle would have had since her burial. James closed his eyes. Then the pain really set in as James stared at the grave. He didn't know when exactly he started to cry but he was aware of the tears falling. James didn't understand it. He never knew Danielle but the pain was still there. Time seemed to stand still as he wept for his mother and what the Morgan's had done to them both…  
  
"He's so perfect" the purple haired woman whispered as the doctor handed her the little boy wrapped in the white mareep wool blanket. James felt so safe and secure with her then. He wanted to stay there forever. Danielle kissed his forehead and as she did so a stray wisp of hair brushed James' face. He reached up with one hand and pulled gently. His mother prized it from his fingers and giggled softly when she saw a few hairs still clutched tightly in his fist. "He has his mothers eyes" Dr Burkley said kindly.  
  
"Yes you do don't you?" Danielle said holding her baby close. "My little boy"  
  
James sighed contentedly and closed his eyes as his mother spoke to him softly. Her voice was so soothing that he fell asleep as she sang him a lullaby.  
  
"Danielle what's wrong?" the alarmed voice of the old doctor disturbed baby James from his dreams. He felt himself being taken from his mother's arms. He didn't like the person who held him now. They held him roughly. James started to cry.  
  
"I feel weird" his mother said grabbing onto the doctors arm. "Dizzy"  
  
"She's bleeding" the man who held James said as the red blood stained the white sheets.  
  
"Danielle its ok" Dr Burkley said. "Just stay with me. I'll call an ambulance"  
  
James knew that some thing terrible was happening and this made him cry harder.  
  
"Take him out of here" Dr Burkley instructed. James was aware of the man taking him away from his mother. He didn't like this man and wanted his mother back. James cried and cried and on hearing his mother's sobs made his own louder. He wanted his mother. Where was she? Why was this man taking him away? "Danielle?" the doctor shouted from the room. Then the door opened. The doctor took James from the other man and rocked him gently. James didn't want to sleep. He wanted his mother but the swaying was making him so tired…he closed his eyes but not before he heard the doctor utter two words "She's dead"  
  
"James? James wake up?"  
  
"Jimmy? Jesse what's wrong with him?"  
  
"I don't know Meowth. James please get up"  
  
Those voices they were taking him from his dream and pulling him back into the harsh world where he was an outcast. James didn't want to leave. Here he had his mother. He had to find out what happened to her. He needed her. But those voices…James knew them. He opened his eyes.  
  
"James?" the blurred faces took shape.  
  
"Jesse? Meowth?" James looked around. He was lying next to Danielle's grave. How had he managed to fall asleep here? What was that dream? Was it a memory? That had to be impossible. He was too young to remember what had happened. It had to have been a dream. He felt fresh tears in his eyes. It may have been a dream but it was so vivid. James could still feel his mother holding him.  
  
"My mother" he nearly choked on the words. She was gone and he was alone.  
  
"James we saw Judith" Jesse said softly, kneeling down beside him. "And we read this". She handed James the letter. "You read it?" he asked  
  
"Please don't be mad James. We had too. We were so worried and then…James you shouldn't have kept this to yourself" Jesse became angry then "You should have told us"  
  
"I couldn't…I don't have any one now. All my life. It was a lie"  
  
"No it wasn't James. Judith and Thomas are still you're parents. I know you don't think so but its true. They brought you up and cared for you. I know you had you're differences and what they did was wrong but think about it for a minute. They loved you from the moment Judith held you. It says so in the damn letter."  
  
"They're just words" James replied bitterly "All they cared about was the outrage it would cause if their dirty secret got out"  
  
"No James listen to me. They wanted the best for you but went about it all wrong"  
  
"Stop defending them Jesse"  
  
"She's not" Meowth put in "Dey put yous through a lot but dat letter is more proof dan ever dat dey loved yous"  
  
"Judith didn't have to even tell you" Jesse said, "She knew it would cost her dearly and she still gave you that letter. Surely that counts for some thing?"  
  
"And now she's all alone in da world. Yous have got our support no matter what yous do. So you can never be alone in the world because we're like a mini family." Meowth said.  
  
"Meowth's right. We stick together no matter what happens and that makes us a family. You're father is dead. Judith has lost her husband. She has no one now. She needs you James. Maybe you won't ever forgive her but she will be grieving don't forget"  
  
"I don't know if I can…" James trailed off. Now Jesse and Meowth knew he could think much clearer. The truth no longer seemed as painful as it did before. Danielle he was sure had loved him but she wasn't here. He thought back to the times before his engagement to Jessebell. They had been a family hadn't they? James could remember them taking him to the kennels to choose his Growlithe puppy. Then all the walks in the park with Growlie and those family holidays. Would he have memories like that if they hadn't of done what they did? Would he even be here now?  
  
"James?" Jesse asked. "What is it?"  
  
"I have to go and see Judith" he replied. Maybe it would take a long time to forgive what Judith and Thomas Morgan had done to him but what mattered now was that he and Judith were both grieving and they had to help each other through it. He looked back at Danielle Cooper's grave only once. He wouldn't forget her. James made a silent promise then and there to visit his mother's grave often and put new flowers on it. But right now Judith needed him and he was going to be there for her. James had been wrong. He did have a family. In some ways he was lucky. He had Jesse, Meowth and Judith. They may not be related by blood but they were there for him and cared for him. Maybe if Judith and Thomas hadn't done what they did then things would have turned out a lot different.  
  
The End 


End file.
